Alone...

I'm not sure exactly why but lately all I feel is alone...I'm sure it's something to do with these lovely hormones I got going on and then the fact that nobody else around me is going through the same thing I am so it leaves me with a lonely feeling. The constant headaches, backaches, swelling, trouble breathing, can't bend over thing is also contributing....it stinks I have to act like nothings wrong and pretend to feel great when I really don't, but I have no one else to turn to to help with things. Don't get me wrong I love that I'm having Riley and wouldn't change anything about it just the emotions are overwhelming sometimes. Chris is a great and wonderful husband but not too much for the affection part so it's def. not helping with the alone feeling I have going on. I've asked him for a few weeks now for something and the only answer is no, so I quit asking..since I figured I knew the answer already, he deals with his things himself. A nice massage would be great but I'm not spending the money to have one and I don't know anyone who does them anyway. It's funny how with a million people around you daily and a million things going on, you feel all alone and like your just stuck there. Guess I get to have my pity party blog, huh...Riley will be here a week from tomorrow, so I have lots to look forward to and lots to keep me busy maybe that will help. Waiting is draining trying to stay busy so that'll go by quickly which some days drag on forever is seems so that's not really working. Chris has that Gator game Sat. I'm not going since it's a 12:30 kick off and my wobbling has worsened..lol and then the Jag game on Sun. so I'm going to be all alone since I'm sure Lil' munchkin will be over at Papa's working on tractors, having a blast! Oh well I guess I've learned take what you can get and be happy with it...even if it's just a kiss in the morning and an I Love You...something is better than nothing, right? Another night of not sleeping is almost over and another day to look forward to, so guess I'm off to make the most of it and try to feel normal...