List...

I have come to realize that my life is mainly composed of list. I don't really write them all down but I have them scrolling in my head constantly. I am always thinking of what I need to do and what I have done and what might come up and on and on and on.... Sometimes I wonder if my head is gonna explode because I think to much and over think way too much! I have given myself a challenge in that I will try to not perfect everything and to try and stop worrying so much about things I can't control, and maybe not control the things I can, too much. I had my break down day yesterday for probably the sum of half the day all I did was cry. Why was I crying... I'm not sure I have just one answer for that, it was ALOT that just all of a sudden hit me. I am both physically and mentally exhausted for one thing and my body just couldn't handle it anymore I think so it had to let go. I only get maybe 4 hours of sleep a night and it's wearing me down. It made me feel better to get it out and today I feel as if I'm back to the normal me or at least the half normal me..lol:) Sometimes I just wanna yell and scream at the top of my lungs "do you know how hard this really is..." I know some understand and are going through it too so at least I feel a little company in my craziness. Our household if going to change big time in a week...wow a week seems like so long then it seems so fast. I'm looking forward to it and also wondering just what it's really gonna be like, time will tell. Logan's open house was Tues. night he did great and is learning so much! As for an update on the house, they finished the footers today and are going to start the block on Monday! Maybe this thing might get done in 4 months after all:) Next week is busy...we have school Mon. & Tues. then Logan has the rest of the week off, dentist on Wed. and then Riley's B-Day on Fri.! It's gonna be nice to have something to do everyday so I'm not here overwhelming myself with my list in my head and over thinking about what we need and what we have...which I'll probably do anyway but I'm really going to try and not over think it..so we'll see. I leave with some pics of the progress on the house, it's not nothing spectacular but knowing what the finished product will look like, it looks like the best thing in the world:) Going to spend time with the men I LOVE my Lil' munchkin and Christopher!

Alone...

I'm not sure exactly why but lately all I feel is alone...I'm sure it's something to do with these lovely hormones I got going on and then the fact that nobody else around me is going through the same thing I am so it leaves me with a lonely feeling. The constant headaches, backaches, swelling, trouble breathing, can't bend over thing is also contributing....it stinks I have to act like nothings wrong and pretend to feel great when I really don't, but I have no one else to turn to to help with things. Don't get me wrong I love that I'm having Riley and wouldn't change anything about it just the emotions are overwhelming sometimes. Chris is a great and wonderful husband but not too much for the affection part so it's def. not helping with the alone feeling I have going on. I've asked him for a few weeks now for something and the only answer is no, so I quit asking..since I figured I knew the answer already, he deals with his things himself. A nice massage would be great but I'm not spending the money to have one and I don't know anyone who does them anyway. It's funny how with a million people around you daily and a million things going on, you feel all alone and like your just stuck there. Guess I get to have my pity party blog, huh...Riley will be here a week from tomorrow, so I have lots to look forward to and lots to keep me busy maybe that will help. Waiting is draining trying to stay busy so that'll go by quickly which some days drag on forever is seems so that's not really working. Chris has that Gator game Sat. I'm not going since it's a 12:30 kick off and my wobbling has worsened..lol and then the Jag game on Sun. so I'm going to be all alone since I'm sure Lil' munchkin will be over at Papa's working on tractors, having a blast! Oh well I guess I've learned take what you can get and be happy with it...even if it's just a kiss in the morning and an I Love You...something is better than nothing, right? Another night of not sleeping is almost over and another day to look forward to, so guess I'm off to make the most of it and try to feel normal...

Deep Clean...

The last weekend we have to get the house all cleaned and straightened and what did we do...we actually got it done! I feel so much better having a clean and neat household once again:) I still have a few loads of clothes to get done but the majority of all the house is done. Speaking of house they came and marked off the house and are gonna break ground on it in the morning. I am so excited that it's finally under way and rolling. They give an estimate of around 5 months but I'll take what I can get as long as it gets done. The house being clean gives such a great feeling..my back is killing me now but over all I feel so accomplished, I guess a big part is it wasn't just the house it was also the car that got cleaned too so today was my deep clean day. It's back to the routine in the morning...Logan's open house is Tues. so we're looking forward to it, he's been singing "God Bless America" and all the other songs he's learned and saying all of his verses....he's getting so big and turning into our Lil' man instead of our Lil' munchkin. Our last weekend of peace and not running around everywhere was very nice....I know I'm gonna miss it but I am certainly looking forward to everything too. Other than Logan's open house and a doctors appt. on Wed. this week isn't too hectic so I'm gonna try and enjoy it as much as possible. Nothing exciting going on so not much to update on just hoping the next week and half fly by. I guess it's off to bed in which I'm hoping to sleep better than I have been, I've been so exhausted that I'm praying I'll just go right to sleep and stay asleep....Goodnight and hopefully very sweet dreams!

Time To Rest...

Wow it's been a while since I wrote...I guess that shows how much my mind has been thinking of every other thing going on. It's been a busy and crazy couple of weeks! Logan is loving school still and comes home every day with a new song and every week they have a new bible verse. I wasn't too sure of how Trinity was going to be at first but he has learned so much and is impressing me more and more. Chris is starting to like it too which he wasn't too sure about it in the beginning either. Mon.-Fri. I'm on the road until around 3:30 so it leaves little to be said about this house..it's not a horrible mess just wish I could do a really deep clean on it but with my back and a huge bowling ball belly it makes for a difficult time. I hope that we can have it all cleaned and straightened by next weekend. Only 2 more weekends without Riley, it's hard to think that she'll be here that quick then it seems like such a long time, at the same time....just one of those things I guess. Our weekends have been college football filled so that's keeping us entertained and making the time go by. The Hawaii and Miami game we're a blast and my last games for a while:( but it's ok..Gators are doing great and on the way to another Championship! They had a by-week this week so no game but we go to enjoy all the other ones! I have my next appt. on Tues. so I'm hoping for some good news that she might come early she's just been really painful this last week, the dropping aches and pains as they're called. Speaking of baby news some friends of ours got some GREAT news that they are expecting and we can't be more elated for them, we have been praying for them everyday. We are now praying for a healthy and happy eight months ahead! There is still one couple that we know, we don't talk all the time but we do see them every now and again and we're praying for them as well...and wishing nothing but blessings go their way! I'm very impressed we didn't have a hospital visit this weekend, Chris had to go last Sunday with an allergic reaction..and then I was off to the ER on Wed. with swelling in my throat so it was half way closed....very scary and I pray I never have to go through that again. It's actually been a relaxing weekend and a weekend where we could just take a breath and look around and enjoy it. That's all I have for now...if anything else comes up I will be sure and update! Loving my husband..and our family more everyday:)