Friday, August 22, 2008

I Wonder, Why Us...

I sit here and wonder most of the times throughout the day, why us. I am so thankful that God has blessed us so much, but I can't help and wonder why things still seem wrong somewhere. I mean I'm so blessed and thank God everyday for everything he has done in my life but why, just why. I wonder why a couple who is so great and wonderful, loving and caring didn't get to keep their baby and why they have to go through everything that they are. I know God puts struggle into your life for reasons unknown to us but I can't help and still question the reasoning behind it. I feel so guilty for having such a blessing when they deserve it just as much if not more than we do, but they can't have that and rejoice in it like we are right now, like they should be able to. Instead they are struggling and praying everyday for the good news they deserve to hear and I can't help but pray everyday that they finally get to hear it. I feel guilty in knowing that we would be sharing the exact same feelings and going though the same emotions and anxiety waiting for our babies to get here almost at the same time. I want to share the good news and all the things that happen and are so great, but then I revel in the despair and pain that she has to go through that I never have. She has been through things that I can never imagine having to face, and while God knows what he's doing and why she has to make it through, I can't help but wonder why and hope and pray that he makes their struggle that much more worth it in the end. She is such a brave and great woman to endure the things I have never had to and hopefully will never have to go through. I will never know her pain or her struggle, all I can do is support her as best I can and pray that God grants our prayers and that they finally get what they want more than anything in this world...those two pink lines that turn into that one beautiful miracle...

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